The Game

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The Game. It's the game that everyone is playing. It's the game that if you think about the game you lose. It's the game with several variations.

It's also the game from which Randall Munroe, author of xkcd, claims he has freed the world.

By the way, you just lost.

Rules at Lancaster

The rules of The Game are numbered five at Lancaster, and this numbering is given more importance at the site than any other.

  1. If you think about The Game, you lose, and must loudly declare that you lose, by saying "I lose" (or something similar, although "I lose" is used almost ubiquitously). After losing, if anyone asks about The Game, you must immediately induct everyone in the area into The Game by telling them these rules.
  2. After losing, you get a thirty minute grace period in which you cannot lose.
  3. If you die within this grace period, you lose forever.
  4. If you die outside of this grace period, you get a patch, but you do not win. The only person known to be eligible for a patch at the current time is Phil Gunn.
  5. TO KNOW THE GAME IS TO PLAY THE GAME (this should be said in a deep, ominous voice).

NOTE: Allegedly, if you die on your birthday, you win. Which conveniently would make Shakespeare a winner, but otherwise is not particularly interesting. Most believe this rule to be a lie.

In reference to an event of staggering embarrassment for a young couple from LAN.05.2, the phrase "I lose" is often accompanied at Lancaster with a "fingerjob." The fingerjob is performed using the first three fingers of the left hand to stroke the extended index finger of the right hand, or by clamping the three said fingers onto the right index finger repeatedly. Technically, however, this is actually a completely different game that is only lost when one thinks about the explicit details describing said event.

Apparently, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, The Game was actually played such that only one person could lose every half hour; nobody who heard that person lose could lose for another half hour. The RAs of that era tend to tell students that they are playing "the wrong game." In addition, there was a t-shirt that a few RAs wore which said "You Just Lost" on the back.

It has been suggested that, if someone asks "What's a patch?" or a similar question after the explanation of Rule 4, the line "We're working on the patch" become a standard answer, because:

  1. it's true, and
  2. it mimics the response of software developers to the pointing out of a bug in the software, i.e., "We're working on a patch for that."

The Post-Game

A small number of students at LAN 07.1 began playing "The Post-Game" which worked in a very similar manner to The Game. All rules of The Game were transferred, except that one could only lose The Post-Game after losing The Game. After the traditional "I lose!" announcement upon losing The Game, Post-Game players would add, "I also lose The Post-Game." Despite efforts to popularize this new game, The Post-Game failed to become a success; its future at CTY remains in doubt.

Rules at Carlisle

The Game was a game played primarily by the Cult of Godzilla; however, it quickly spread throughout campus in 06.2. Of course, everyone is playing The Game, but all members of the Cult were definitively cognizant of that fact. The Game was in existence at Carlisle 05.2, at least in The Sixties, so it predates the CuoGo, but the group is responsible for its popularization.

General Rules

There are slight differences between the Cult and the General rules, mainly in that the general rules are less comprehensive:

  1. You are always playing The Game.
  2. Every time you think about The Game, you lose for half an hour.
  3. Dying gives you one point.

Cult of Godzilla Rules

The rules of the version of The Game that the Cult played are as follows:

  1. You are playing The Game.
  2. If you remember you are playing The Game, you lose The Game.
  3. All losses of The Game must be announced.
  4. After losing The Game, there is a 30 minute grace period, in which you cannot lose the game.
  5. If you die within this period, you lose forever.
  6. If you die outside of this period, you get a point. RA Ian is winning The Game, with 5 points, as he's been pronounced clinically dead 5 times. (Unfortunately, the definition of "clinically dead" has changed since he died, from a stopped heart to a blank brainscan.)
  7. If you die within the period, and then inexplicably come back to life as a zombie, you are NOT allowed to play, as you have lost forever (and forever is a loooooooong time).

Also, if you haven't by now, you lose The Game. Maybe again.

In Ancient Greek (CAR.06.01), of which many members of the Cult were a part, The Game became a source of major class disruption, with one half of the class attempting to make the other half lose The Game. This resulted in "total and utter bannination" of the game in the classroom. This rule was not greatly enforced, as both the instructor and the TA both secretly enjoyed The Game.

It was on the last full day of Session 2, 2007, that The Game was protested at the Mock Protest activity. ("Why choose to lose! The Game is lame!" The chant was stuck in many heads for the rest of the day.) Unfortunately, few people were convinced, despite the poster claiming that The Game hates puppies.

Rules at Los Angeles (LMU)

Many people play The Game at Los Angeles Session 2, and a few at Session 1. It has many different variations, with grace periods of 42 minutes or 30 minutes or often no grace period at all, depending on the player. The only common variation that differs greatly from the other versions discussed on this page is an additional rule that anyone who says the word "moo" without first thinking of The Game automatically wins The Game.

A variation on The Game was created by Brian, who taught logic, during 08.2. He apparently got fed up with The Game, and created another Game where if you think about murder, you lose. It has a relatively small following and has resulted in cries of "I lost the other game" or "I'm thinking of murder" after someone has lost The Game.

Rules at ECPI College of Technology

Most of the various ECPI campuses across the East Coast follow the same basic rules.

Virginia Beach Campus

  1. To know The Game is to play The Game. Once you know about The Game, you can't stop playing.
  2. Knowing and not playing is living in denial. You play The Game whether you want to or not.
  3. You lose The Game when you think about The Game. If you think about The Game but don't realize you lost, you still lose The Game.
  4. When you lose, announce your loss. There is no grace period, and by proxy, everyone within hearing distance loses. This is unavoidable. If no one is around to announce it, you still lose.
  5. The only way to win is to forget, and to know you won is to lose. To win, you can't know you won.
  6. Tom Cruise is permanently banned from ever winning. Even if he doesn't know about The Game, he loses.
  7. Chuck Norris ALWAYS WINS, even if he thinks about The Game. If you've beaten Chuck Norris at The Game, it's obvious you don't know the rules of The Game.
  8. If you die while thinking about The Game, you lose forever.
  9. If you die without thinking about The Game, you win. However, in the afterlife, you keep playing, so you lose if you remember.
  10. There is no rule 10.
  11. If someone asks about The Game, you must explain The Game, and that the individual has now lost The Game, as well as everyone within earshot.
  12. The point of The Game is to get more people to play The Game. Winning and losing is not important, but finding new and creative ways to make people lose The Game is.

The Game has been played at the Virginia Beach campus since at least 2005. Any other campuses may have played it; if you are from another campus, please list yourself here.


The Match

A very recent offshoot of the game is the Match. It was created at CTY Princeton in 2008. The rules are simple: if you think about the match, you win the match, you must announce this, and everyone else loses. No one may win more often than every thirty minutes. People often keep track of their match records. This has become intrinsically linked to the Game; a shout of "I just won the match!" often follows the lament "I just lost the Game!"

See Also

The Really Game

External Links

Game Losing Boxers

Extremely relevantly, there are game-losing boxers, which everybody absolutely needs to have for BLT.