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| The name printed on my card is Alex Kohanski. Most people don't call me that. I have a(n incomplete) list of things people call me:
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| * Kohanski
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| * Bitchface Kobitchface
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| * Bitchface
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| * Skiski
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| * Kopantski
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| * Skank
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| * Hokanski
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| * Axel Hokanski
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| * Hanskiko
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| * The Manski Kohanski
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| * The Manski
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| * The Womanski
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| * Skankobitch
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| * Hair
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| * Alekski Kohanski
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| * Xela Isknahok
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| * Riff Raff
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| * Scott
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| * Matt
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| * The Gadfly of Love
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| * Yoda
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| * Lampshade
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| I've taken some classes at CTY:
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| LAT1.LAN.08.1
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| GRK1.LAN.09.1
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| ETYM.LAN.09.2
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| WRT3.B.LAN.10.1
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| LOGC.C.LAN.10.2
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| ==The Notebook of Horrible Ideas==
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| I decided to keep a notebook of horrible ideas during 10.2. Here they are. Ideas with a + have been done to my knowledge.
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| - Say "derp" when you orgasm ~Marnie<br>
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| + This notebook<br>
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| + Putting bales of hay in front of gravel ~F&M<br>
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| - Climbing the Scrabble ~Jonah<br>
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| + Humanities courses ~Everyone who's taken a math course<br>
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| + Driving to Canada during intersession ~Eloise<br>
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| + Driving to Canada ~Jonah<br>
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| + Canada ~Jonah
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| + Protection
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| + "Erik, this is my brother." ~Alex Pressman
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| - Safety first
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| + Filling someone's hat with vaseline
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| - "I'm so awesome, I can make out with my girlfriend anywhere!" ~RA Sam
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| - Drinking 4 Red Bulls and playing ultimate in 105 degree weather ~RA Sam
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| - Ripping the top off an Axe can, putting it in front of you, and not moving ~RA Sam
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| - "Enter cafeteria; go apeshit" ~Graeme
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| - "Adderall: Can't pass without it!" ~Ad in bathroom
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| - Spray painting a fenced-in bench gold
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| - Getting highlights in your pubic hair ~Erik
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| + PDA rules
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| + Ordered society ~Bitchface
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| - Women discussing their birth canals ~Graeme
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| - RHPS as a first date ~Ramsey
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| - Racing golf carts on the quad
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| - Convincing your instructor you get a break every hour
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| - Opening an umbrella directly in front of someone ~Jonah
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| - Giving people who are imprisoned for life WMDs ~Torrence
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| + Discussing whether you can know that you know anything
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| - 5 second rule on Schnader porch ~Declan
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| - Going farther into a guy's anus to try to impregnate him ~Erik
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| + "On a scale of edgy to ironic, where's the Holocaust?"
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| - Hump a stump ~Silver
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| - Switching all the students in one class with the students in another without the teachers noticing
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| + End a story with "And then I thought about child molestation" ~Declan
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| - Blammo with guns
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| + Slapping your teacher across the face ~Justine
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| + Taping pizza to a door and leaving it there ~Justine
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| - Sistery bondage ~Bitchface
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| - Telling your girlfriend that if wiffleball were a person you'd break up with her ~Graeme
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| - When you say "orgasm", derp ~Jonah
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| - Sitting on a bed totally naked drinking Strawberry Kiwi Lemonade and masturbating vigorously ~Jonah
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| - Doing the above in front of people ~Bitchface
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| + Running into someone's room, jumping into the trash can, and saying "It's funny because I'm in the trash!" ~Theo
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| + Running into someone's room, stealing something, and running out screaming "Ahahaha! Yes!" ~Theo
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| - "There are scissors if you need to open the hole more."
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| + Interracial lesbian poop porn ~Literotica
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| - Eating breasted shits ~Graeme/Bitchface
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| - Shitfucking (your son's) monster meat ~Literotica
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| - Read teh idea 3 above this while having sex ~Graeme
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| - 31 Dogs in a Room as a movie ~Jonah
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| - A play about the dichotomy between unbroken and broken glass ~Ariel
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| - EpiSpear ~Graeme
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| - EpiTrident ~Graeme
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| - Naming your child Kotel ~Declan/Bitchface
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| - Placing Mentos into 3 bottles of soda in the middle of the quad successfully ~Jonah
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| - Preschool basketball ~Graeme
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| + Playing Pokemon every day but never leaving Pallet Town ~Jonah
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| - A reality show called "God Dammit, Charlene!" ~Jonah/Kleo
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| + Awkward question squad ~Lilly/Erik
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| - Breaking the PDF rules ~Sam Fomon
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| + Triple crotch-shot ~Bitchface/Noah
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| - Rotten asscheeks ~Noah
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| + Becoming a master baiter ~Ramsey
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| - Getting a masters degree in baiting ~Ramsey
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| - Covering your jaundice with more jaundice ~Graeme
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| - Long-distance makeout ~Bitchface/Noah
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| + Not blinking as a pasttime ~Tess
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| - A water fountain/urinal ~Bitchface
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| - Eating this book ~Tess
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| - Putting a metal rod in your penis ~Ramsey
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| - Grinding the gay out of you ~Sam Fomon
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| - Being a masturbating 5th wheel ~Bitchface/Noah
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| + Chewing on pens without pen cases ~Alec
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| - Inhaling flaming dicks
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| - Stabbing each other in the foot with heels repeatedly ~Kris
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| - Duct taping your penis to your leg and getting a boner ~Noah
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| - Making a store called "A Store" ~Bitchface
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| - Losing all control of your penis ~Gleb
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| - Having a penis the size of a million penises including itself ~Dennis/Bitchface
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| - Coming bricks ~Graeme
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| - "...like the cool people at 4chan do." ~Gleb
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