Hall of Fame:LOU
The entry about the soccer game has been moved to the Hall of Shame.
Contents
1997.1 -- The Squirrel Theory
At Clinton Session One of '97, an interesting theory circulated. Basically, it stated that there is but a single squirrel. He is a mystical five-dimensional beast, which means he can travel in the regular 3, and also time and dimensions. His dimension hopping abilities allow him to go into another dimension and pull back a copy of himself from that dimension, which explains how you could see more than one at once, or in different places, or how they would look different, because in other dimensions, he would have undergone different life's conditions, and that would have altered his appearance. This theory, created by Dwight Bussman, was told throughout the session, and remembered well by CTYers who were there, thus earning it a place in the CTY Hall of Fame.
Wow...I can't believe that kid got into CTY. The fifth dimension is not, as stated "dimensions."
2004.1 -- The Protest
During the second dance at Loudonville 2004 Session 1, American Pie was cut short twice. As this wasn't the first time during that dance a canon song had been cut short (End of the World), the CTYers all over the dance floor began sitting down in protest (following the example of Tim Mullen) and shouted at the RA's running the sound equipment. Soon, the site director came in and yelled at everyone to be quiet, which they did, although they still refused to stand. The RA in charge then played Time Warp, resulting in everyone returning to their feet to dance and lights out being pushed back about 10 minutes due to the lengthened dance. After Time Warp, they played American Pie for a third and, finally, successful time.
Mike Gonan later reported that it was a software glitch in "Windows Media Player," even though the DJ used iTunes. Even after the fact had been proven otherwise, he absolutely insisted.
EDIT: The way I remember it was that yes, End of the World was previously cut short but then Stairway was cut short and American Pie started to be played, and everyone sat down in protest but eventually got up because it was American Pie then Cindy Ragland the site director agreed to play Stairway again and extend lights out.
2005.1 -- Dan the Man Lives On
During LOU.05.1, Dan "the Man" started wearing his sunglasses 24-7, inside and outside, class times, meal times, showers, to bed, everywhere. They became a mark of his coolness and general kickassitude, never leaving his face to the point that he got a glasses tan, even though he didn't need to wear glasses. Being a nevermore in 06.1, at the end of his Passionfruit speech, Dan the Man passed on his sunglasses, along with the title of "the Man", to Dan, Alice's little brother. Dan the [Previous/Original/Ex/etc.] Man wears sunglasses no more, instead being marked by his mandolin, copious body hair, and sexy beard.
2006.1 -- Fight Club
During LOU.06.1, Dan the [Original] Man brought his copy of Fight Club to let a friend borrow. The book ended up circulating through five or six different people. At the same time, Dan the Man and Jon Webster began an actual fight club, jumping on each other at random points in time and wrestling until one of them was subdued or an RA broke them up. Several of these fights were videotaped for later distribution, because ironically, the first rule of fight club is that you do not talk about fight club.
2007.1 -- Complaints
During the first session on the second weekend, the "Poster Couple" of CTY felt a sudden urge to make out right in front of Padua. On Saturday. Afternoon. Of course, they were caught, and their parents called to be notified of the PDA. Most parents would be mad at their children, but the father of the guy called back (as his mother was called) and complained to Shannah, as he thought the kids should not have been disturbed. The RA, Jess, who caught them was forced to apologize.
2008.1 -- The CCC
During session one of 2008, David Short's hall (third floor Hines) was graced with the presence of one Alexander Postnikov, a true Soviet and a credit to all Russians. In his efforts to convert the entire hall into communists, he repossessed one of the closets, which soon became transformed into a twisted horror-house filled with, in the words of its owner, "freakish Asian midgets" (along with one Dan Phelps, one of the least Asian people ever, and Alex himself), called the Communist Conversion Center (CCC). Vict—er, converts were led into the closet blindfolded, seated on a chair, and then sealed in the closet. The concealed communists, along with a violinist (Hyun Lee) began to chant, play discordant notes, and flash a red flashlight as the vict—er, convert's blindfold was removed. Simultaneously, outside communists would flicker the lights in the closet and bang on the door; chanting ranged from "stamp out doubt" to "one of us" to "real lightening [sic]". When they exited the CCC, new communists were expected to salute one or more great communists of the past. The most popular was "Hail Marx", but the CCC turned out communists from such diverse backgrounds as Maoism, Castroism, and Leninism. News spread quickly, and soon the CCC had seen two RAs and numerous students from all floors of Hines within its depths. The CCC also spawned several spin-off fads, from a communist secret handshake to a constant back-and-forth of "Hail Marx" between converts as well as chants of "One of us!" and "Two plus two equals five". (This later was countered by a smattering of "Two plus two equals fish").
Hail Marx!
Postnikovism
Postnikovism is the term for the variety of communism espoused by Alexander Postnikov (Александр Постников to the inducted) and his followers in the Communist Conversion Center. Postnikovism has little relation to most branches of communism, although it regards all of its predecessors (Marx, Lenin, Castro, etc.) as honored forefathers. Postnikovists are identifiable by their insistence that 2+2=5 and a constant litany of "Hail Marx", "Hail Lenin", and occasionally "Hail Castro" or "Hail Mao".
Official Postnikovist Song
"Communist Song", by Alexander Postnikov himself.
We shall attack with the red machine,
transforming us into mutant dreams.
How afraid are they of me,
riding tanks through crowds that scream?
Wielding guns and RPGs,
reclaiming messed up bloody streets,
a living monster is what I see:
a fire-breathing red machine!
Official Postnikovist Handshake
When two Postnikovists meet, the first thing that they will do is offer a "Hail Marx" (the official Postnikovist greeting), followed quickly by the official Postnikovist handshake, performed as follows:
- Both Postnikovists raise their hands with two fingers extended (index and middle), as if counting manually
- The hands are struck together
- The left hands fingers are retracted, while the right hand opens to create a manual "5"
- Both Postnikovists give a high-five while simultaneously stating "two plus two equals five"
- As an alternative to "two plus two equals five", a Postnikovist may offer the Russian equivalent: "два плус два пять" (transliterated: "dva plus dva pyat'"
Gothic Alternatives
Due to Nat Harrington's efforts in the study of Gothic, Postnikovism has several Gothic expressions that may be substituted for the English, as well as an exhortation:
- háils Marksa: "hail Marx"
- twái jah twái sind fimf: "two and two are five"
- urreisjái sa Prolaítarjats: "let the Proletariat rise up"