Beginning Ancient Greek

Ancient Greek is like Latin, only for Greek. Just to say, you will learn more Greek in this class than in the Latin class. Therefore, it is better, Muahaha.

Things you learn:

The circle of the hero "Always this is true" Declensions "Four ways to say 'ho" Conjugation "To come continually in the past" A little history "Suicide" Some mythology "It's all about the incest" The Odyssey "Helen is a shameless whore" Meter "Teenybopper Disco Queen Dactyllic Hexameter" The first ten lines of the Odyssey in Greek "Nepios" Philosophy "Is there a form for a spork...?" Art "karls corner" And more...

For any student in greek two, you have the right to call students in greek 1 'Greeklings' a combination of weakling and greek, for you are stronger in greek then they are.

There are two Greek instructors, Sean "King of Translation" Lake, who is better than Robert nepios Fagles. Sean has some strange habits, and can even seem intimidating. He has caused some students to lose faith entirely in heterosexual males.

The other instructor of Greek is Danielle LaLonde. She's very strict and not much fun in the end, but still lets you slack off and waste a hell of a lot of sharpie. If you ever get her, be nice and she'll be nice back, but never bring up Sean infront of her. Sean's Ancient Greek 2 class in 2005 played pranks on Danielle's Ancient Greek 1 class, such as placing all of their desks outside while they were on break. If you want to survive, do not talk about Sean.

Sean's Ancient Greek 2 in Lancaster session 1 2006 attempted to carry on the tradition, but it backfired when the Greek 1 students fell in love with Sean. They would beg Greek 2 to come into their classroom and do crazy things, and Greek 2 was happy to oblige them. This might have been the start of a beautiful friendship, but it wasn't, because Greek 2 was still infinitely cooler.

MY NAME IS KEVIN LEE AND I TOOK GRK1: I failed all of my tests and quizes and never studied in study hall (Lan 06.1). I was a slacker and many of my session 1 greek friends knew it (me and my rubberbands). Danielle was always mean to me and she even sent me to the Academic Dean to discuss my grades (I missed Quad Time that day). When I first steped into Ron's (Academic Dean)Office I was shocked. Pictures of naked boys laid sprawled on the floor and he had a camera in him hand. He gently smielyed at me and told me to close the door. I relucatanly did so. He first started off telling me that Danielle said I was a distraction in class. I told him I was distracting the other nerds. He then told me he wanted me to try harder because there were reports of me sleeping in class and not really doing anything. He then proceeded to rape me and take pictures. That day cahnged my life.

Before the St. Mary's College of Maryland site became defunct, Greek 1 was offered there as well as at Lancaster. Taught by the appropriately named Jon Strang, the 05.01 session of this course was chiefly notable for the composition of a song entitled "Baby Got Greek," in the model of "Baby Got Back," which was sung at the talent show and closing ceremony for that session and became something of a symbol for STM.05.01 in general.

Jon Strang also taught Greek 1 at the 06.01 Carlisle session. The class's greatest achievement was a Starcrash-esque filming of the Odyssey (most of which was filmed sideways for some reason) and the translation of the Homestarrunner "Trogdor!" song into Greek. There was also a fast-paced game of "Kill Odysseus/Save Odysseus" where Odysseus was changed into a 2nd declension neuter noun ("and therefore cannot be killed!") and Jon and Joseph McCarthy escaped from a prison and made Odysseus' head explode with "three trillion" Attic readings.