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After Nevermore (Carlislian) Year

Note: this was posted on Livejournal and on Facebook a week ago.

I returned from CTY about a week ago. Since then I have not been hit with the finality of it, for I will not return. Maybe it won't happen like I'm expecting; maybe I've already accepted it slowly, throughout the session. This seems likely. I toasted to finality at the last Passionfruit, using parts from something I had written originally before the first:

To cactus juice and the goddess (here I gestured down to my right, at Freddie the Poetry Goddess); to our struggle against the two-headed beast of time and death which we fought every day, which was and will be fought for decades before and after; to my Cult and my true friends, who know who they are; and to the immortality of CTY in each of us, due to the poverty of the converse, for everyone's fame one day fades. I love CTY and I love the Passionfruit.

I was feeling lonely for a couple of days during the second week, doubting the love of some of my friends; now, with us dispersed, I think I know what's going on, and I feel more at peace about such things. I thank you, my comrades. I would be a different person without you.

No, there will be no more Passionfruits, dances, meet markets singing around the table, there will be none of that for me. But there are other wonderful friends hiding somewhere across the world, whom I will have the pleasure to meet one day. Goodbye, Carlisle, for what I gather will be forever, and goodbye, CTY. I owe you so much.