Hello there! I'm Wendy. I'm a forevermore, and I am in love with CTY. You may know me as the Asian girl that is slightly, slightly crazier than the 101923840395798435 other Asian kids, or you may know me as that weird girl who dressed up like a dominatrix at times and sang a song about freaky cows with other weird girls, or maybe I was one of those girls who was dancing on the side during Time Warp. You may also know me as that girl with the freaky toy cameras that had four lenses, or that girl that would go up to you even though you had no idea who she was, maybe that girl who found two freaky poisonous-looking bugs copulating on her sweatshirt. You may also know me as just Wendy. Or, you might not know me at all, in which case, I would encourage you to say hi!
- Crafting the Essay- JHU 06.1
- The Critical Essay: Popular Culture- LAN 07.2
- Number Theory- LAN 08.2
- Utopias and Dystopias- LAN 09.2
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09.2 Passionfruit Speech
(This speech was not the original speech I made at Passionfruit. It has most of the same elements, however.)
I'm not quite sure what to say. As I write this, I'm trying to imagine myself standing up at passionfruit, in front of all of you, and it's difficult. I can't believe I am here, and that we are all here. This moment and this speech is actually happening. After so many years, we are finally at this point.
I have grown up. I walked onto this campus as an innocent little asian kid, and today I will walk away, older, still asian, but well, different. This place is really where I have grown up. My formative years, I guess you could say. In a way, this chapter of my life is gone now, and I think I really felt it this year. I'm 16. I'm almost an adult, and soon I will be all on my own, free to be the person I've discovered that I am, that I've discovered here. So we've grown up, and we're about to leave this part of our life behind.
[Here I will deviate from my passionfruit speech to add something I meant to add to the original speech, but it didn't quite work out.]
The class I took this year was not a typical course. Unlike some of the classes I've taken here, like Crafting the Essay, Pop Cult, or Number Theory, I probably won't ever use the information I've learned in Utopias and Dystopias. Despite this, I've still learned something from this class, and it comes from a couple poems we read. These poems introduce and conclude Lewis Carroll's Through The Looking Glass.
Child of the pure unclouded brow
and dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
are half a life asunder,
they loving smile will surely hail
the love-gift of a fairy-tale.
I have not seen thy sunny face,
nor heard thy silver laughter:
no thought of me shall find a place
in thy young life's hereafter--
enough that now thou wilt not fail
to listen to my fairy-tale.
A tale begun in other days,
when summer suns were glowing--
a simple chime, that served to time
the rhythm of our rowing--
whose echoes live in memory yet,
though envious years would say 'forget'.
Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread,
with bitter tidings laden,
shall summon to unwelcome bed
a melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear
who fret to find our bedtime near.
Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
the storm-wind's moody madness--
within, the firelight's ruddy glow,
and childhood's nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold thee fast:
thou shalt not heed the raving blast.
And, though the shadow of a sigh
may tremble through the story,
for 'happy summer days' gone by,
and vanish'd summer glory--
it shall not touch, with breath of bale,
the pleasance of our fairy-tale.
So here we are. We've had our "happy summer days gone by," and now we're ready to say goodbye. But Lewis Carroll was right. The shadow of a sigh will tremble through the story, but it won't touch this fairy tale. I don't want to say goodbye because I'm not going to leave any of you. I refuse to say goodbye to this. So maybe we won't have any more quad times, dances, acting improvs, second saturdays, or turkey hill runs. I'm still not saying goodbye.
We're going to go back to our respective towns and leave this amazing place. We'll maybe lose a bit of the magic of CTY to school and life. We'll lose some of the magic, but we won't forget it. There will be memories. We will still remember the feeling of the grass on the quad, the gentle body heat of our grass orgies, the slightly moldy smell of our dorms, the sweat mess of our dances. We will have memories. It's really all we need. We just need to remember these feelings and we'll never have to say goodbye.
I love you. I love so many of you. We've known each other for so long. You guys are a huge part of my life. I can't even begin to describe it.
I'm not really sure what to say anymore. There is so much to this place and so much to my three years here. I know I'm forgetting so much and I know I should be saying so much, but I don't know if I can. So that's really all I can say, I guess. I love you all. And for everyone, don't lose hope. CTY is love.
I love CTY, and I love the Passionfruit.
A boat, beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July--
Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear--
Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July.
Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.
Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.
In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:
Ever drifting down the stream--
Lingering in the golden gleam--
Life, what is it but a dream?