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Starcrash is a terrible sci-fi movie starring Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff (before his Baywatch fame). It is pretty much some Italian guy's ripoff of Star Wars involving a chick in a bikini, a white dude with big hair, a redneck-sounding robot, and post-Sound of Music Christopher Plummer, as stated above. He must have really needed the money.

Can also be described as (quoted), "In the late '70s, an Italian director attempted to capitalize of the success of Star Wars by creating a space movie with David Hasselhoff. The result? STARCRASH!"


The Starcrash experience was fantastically heightened by the sarcastic comments of longtime Carlisle staffer Bret Kramer, who inevitably turned up for the showing. However, after Bret left Carlisle in 2010, the new director Lesa did a fine job with the commentary. RA Sim did the commentary in 17.1. The general love of Starcrash has allegedly spawned 'Terrible Movie Tuesday', wherein a different, horrendous example of cinematic excrement is shown every Tuesday (such as Manos: The Hands of Fate or Sinbad of the Seven Seas). It is unknown whether this will continue in the future.

The Starcrash-esque quotes become long-running jokes among CTYers. Known for its amazing special effects (e.g., the take-off scene with only the three ships), its witty dialogue ("You're the best human-like friend I've ever had..."), and the process of the female lead becoming more and more scantily clad throughout the course of the movie, Starcrash is so beloved by its audiences.

But viewers beware. The RAs are everywhere, and they don't appreciate the use of the theater as a make-out session. They just don't. So don't try it. They might throw a Whopper at you (allegedly RA Matt 06.2).

  • Edit: RAs, as of 10.2, have become fairly relaxed in the stopping of this behavior. If couples were being overtly passionate, they would merely be advised to 'stop fschnargling' by most RAs. Some RAs also enjoy staring contests with the 'fschnarglers' which can become quite amusing. It has also become a fairly common practice for kissing to occur immediately after the 'imperial battleship' line.

During one of the heated scenes of the movie in Car.10.2 one student, remaining nameless, started the viral song 'Sexual Harassment Panda' which resulted in the entire audience screaming the lyrics much to Megan, and the SRA's (Lauren and Mike's.. well more Lauren's) dismay. This performance resulted in the ban of the song from campus by Lauren, announced to the 'Couple's Couch' members at the following meet market.

If there is extra time left after the movie ends, there is a David Hasselhoff sing-a-long, where around 40-50 campers and RAs flood to the floor of ATS to dance, to lip sync, to do conga lines, and to have fun! In 16.1 and 17.1, "Hooked on a Feeling" and "Jump in my Car" were played consecutively.

In 11.1, the 7th place hall in House Wars was allowed to also comment on the movie during the activity, with Mina doing most of the commenting.

Starcrash was shown during an activity at LAN.10.1, brought to LAN by former Carlislian and long-time Lancaster RA Shae Fitzgerald, to the amusement of all in attendance.

  • Quote

Ryan: You mention plotholes, as in holes in the plot... What plot?

Shae: You mean you didn't notice how intricately woven the plot was?

An almost identical event to the one at LAN 10.1 occurred at LAN 10.2. It has since become a traditional event, usually as a double block activity on last Tuesday, which over 200 people attend.