Only at CTY

... does the world (somehow) make sense.
... can you see two guys dress like girls and lipsync "Stars Are Blind"
... can the debate on the pronunciation of "ethereal" take up more than half of the class time (SAR 07.2)
- ... it's pronounced ethereal as in rhymes with cereal!
- ... but ether-eel sounds better!
... can you talk about crap the size of Danny DeVito at the talent show for 15 minutes (in front of all the administration) and not get in trouble for it
... can you ride the dumbweighter
... can random people on college tours be undaunted when faced with CTY Pirates, and Morris wearing a dress while knitting (CAR.07.2)
... do girls melt duct tape into their hair with their flat-iron (and eventually get it out, too)
... is duct tape acceptable (and loved) attire
... does Harry Potter suddenly become filled with sexual references (see article "Harry Potter")
... does everyone love everyone else
... can you love tape someone you don't know (and not be sued for harassment)
... can you milk a duck at 5:07 in the morning
... do people steal cafeteria trays
- ... or plates for autographs
... can your RA be in the shower when the fire alarm goes off, have to go outside in a towel and have Synergy stare at her (SAR 06.1)
- ... only RAs? This happened to me (I'm a student) LMU 06.1
- ... this happened to my friend [a student] every single fire alarm. Or we called hall meeting. It was hilarious [EAS, 06.2]
- ... this happened twice within the same hour to our quad..many girls were in the shower, and it was a weekend so there were lots of people outside. as soon as we got back from the first alarm, it sounded again. (Quad 1, CAR 07.1)
... can you meet a person, fall in love with them, and depart to your own edges of the country in under 3 weeks
... are people psuedo-immortality whores and feel the need to write down all sorts of inside jokes on this page
- ... and proud of it
  - ... insanely proud
... is Sexual Harassment a Joke (JHU 06.2)
... do people cheer for sex from someone they've never seen
- ... but they were sexy
... does Goofus dance like this
... can you see a bunch of kids in blue shirts do the Cotton Eye Joe in the middle of a sidewalk in front of a completely metrosexual house
... is homesexuality and cross-dressing encouraged
... are people known best for the noises they make
- ...long live the Random Pterodactyl Hiccup (Lauren from Crypto A - CAR.07.2)
... do people worship a delicious piece of golden-fried chicken (All hail the Island Coconut Chicken!) LAN.06.2
- ... it died for our sins!
  - ... so did Rachel and Christ
    - ... because of Kai
... is boob molesting taught by nevermores
... does your RA tell you that you can't wear goggles just because you want to! (LAN 06.2)
... do you fight with swords made of a bent coat hanger wrapped in duct tape. Go hall-fencing! (LAN 06.2)
... is every fencer from New Jersey
... does Jesus Fucking Christ have a second meaning (it's a one time thing.) LAN 06.2
... is a Frisbee almost essential
... is a pack of cards equally as, if not more, essential
... are the most common card games played Hearts, B.S., Big 2, Spades, Palace, Mao, Spit, Egyptian Ratscrew, Chinese Poker, and Presidents
... is grab-ass a common game whether it be in the water or on land.
... do people dress in their wackiest clothes because no one will make fun of them for it
... do people think of new variations of "Wanna buy a duck?"
... are people lightly scorned for being athletic
... are people heavily scorned for studying
... do people have competitions to put the most suffixes on a word (rockxorationage-esqueosityness)
... is everything a penis joke
... can nerds be so sexy
... are you never asked whether or not cement and milk are elements (they're not). LAN 06.2
... is there one class for seven hours a day.
... do you realize that implementing the undead actually is a more realistic approach than whatever you were thinking about
... do people form lifelong friendships during the course of three weeks.
- ... this is sooooo true
... is gambling mildly promoted at Casino Night.
... do guys participate in Fairy Princess Day.
... do people cuddle like there's no tomorrow.
... are girls jealous of guys' boobs.
... do nerds grind for the first time (by accident but fun nonetheless)
... do people rave shamelessly.
... is the Last Supper a 15 minute affair with speeches and same-sex tongue-kissing, and ends with everyone tramping off to dance to Rock Lobster.
... can entire works of Douglas Adams be recited from memory.
... do sexy chicks from Lokelani choreograph a dance to the Backstreet Boys song "Larger Than Life" dubbed the Backstreet Babes
... do people become avid Rocky Horror, They Might Be Giants, and R.E.M. fans.
... do lanyard collectors get their roots.
... do RAs sell their bodies to each other for our entertainment.
... does an RA with a particularly, um, high-energy hall have a nightmare where his kids are removing the stairs to the stairwell. "What are you doing??!!" "We're removing the stairs to create a booby trap!"
... does everyone (and we mean EVERYONE) gets a gf/bf
... are there regulations concerning public displays of affection
... are minor revolutions staged over an RA's refusal to run Acting Improv the way it ordinarily is run.
... do people form a protest over a song unplayed.
... is eXtreme go-fish a battle to the death
... are lanyards considered the same as jelly bracelets
... can one regain one's fake virginity by way of square dance
... do we slap babies to save the world
... do we spend movie nights laying on people's bellies across the lawn
... can "suck my butt" be an answer to anything
... does somebody spill their food at the cafeteria virtually every day
... do we make up stupid personal jokes like "timmy", and "just a little bit of alcohol"
... do the guys at soccer camp make fun of us, and we make fun of them back
... people can't easily revenge (masaru and his stupid pickaxe!)
... can you attack the grass
... are ALL of the guys either super tall or super short
... do people from all around the world(including Chile, Egpyt, and Hong Kong) come to unite as nerds
... do people have arguments about whether a single 'mento' should be referred to as a 'mento' or a 'mentos'.
- ... the package says "mentos... the chewy mint" not "mentos... the chewy mintS;" thusly, Mentos, refers to a single given chewy mint, not multiple
... can you cry and for the first time, not hide your tears
... do rinas and cty-nerds come together to insult each other
... people will work themselves into a fury when they hear the words "free books"
... will "nerd" and "geek" be taken as compliments 100% of the time and people proudly refer to CTY as "nerd camp". (THAT IS SO TRUE!)
... can boys be both sexy and smart
... can you find people with hand-drawn Magic: the Gathering card backs taped to the front of their binders
... does not finishing your homework in study hall mean nothing and you don't have to bring it back "home" to finish it
... does God swing his lanyard every time you kill a squirrel (Lan05.1)
... can orgies, kissing, grabass, smackass, and groingrab be completely platonic
... are orgies more public and commonplace than kissing
... do crazed students find dead squirrels and beg their teachers to allow them to dissect said squirrels
... do students fish for squirrels with donuts from the dining hall
... can a girl walk around dressed like a cartoon everyday
... are boys complimented on their ability to wear girl-pants
... do you walk around singing "WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I TOUCH MYSELF"
... do you walk around shouting "Die, die, die, die! Live, live, live, live! Sex, sex, sex, sex! More, more, more, more! ORGY!!"
- ... except at Siena
- ... and no "ORGY" at Saratoga.
... can you send penis-shaped balloons flying around the room---and make any and all dirty jokes that occur to you--- without getting in trouble
... can orgies be platonic
... does every meal consist of SOME type of potato (Carlisle and Lancaster and LMU and JHU)
- ... actually I remember one meal that didn't. It was all anyone talked about the whole meal. (LMU 06.1)
... must you take pictures of anything and everything
... is rice served breakfast, lunch, and dinner (HPU)
... can a guy gravity check for the safety of all
... do people form words using the periodic table (Iridium, Oxygen, Nickle, Carbon: Ir O Ni C)
... are grass orgies a required experience
... can a boy be the prettiest girl on campus
... can you hear words like ericoid
... can you use a violin to pick up girls (or an electric violin, or bagpipes)
... can you hear two guys have a serious conversations about how lines can/can’t have area
... can you argue the for the rights of religious homosexuals...and prove your love by making out with a same sex person sitting next to you
... can you hear people arguing about figures of speech at Passionfruit
... can someone say "He's got the big guns hidden under his skirt."
... can you appreciate the true stupidity of the Rinas
... does your mom call to tell you that you can't take medications and drink alcohol at the same time
... do you have "Optimum Breakfast Time"
... can you compare an RA to both Napoleon Dynamite and Ben Folds (Napoleon Folds/Ben Dynamite)
... are the HUB workers GORGEOUS. Especially "milk-man" (Carlisle--05)
... can someone be Ukrotish (Ukraine/Scottish)
... can you room a punk, a hippie, and a billionaire
... can you get class back on track by talking about a cow
... can you witness two animal control guys and a huge policeman with a net the size of a small CTYer chase a squirrel around a tree for hours
... can guys squeal "That squirrel is so cute!!" (LMU 06-2)
... does someone think trees are vegetables
... can you teach someone to dance by telling them to move 12 parts of their body before they completely understand when you use the word "pelvis"
... is gravity overrated
... can you see one guy attempting to remove a piece of duct tape from another guy's crotch---with his teeth. (LAN 06.2)
... can you make up a word like "splootch" and have everyone understand it
... does everyone have some type of musical ability or talent
... does EVERYTHING LEAD TO SEX
... can people say the internet is invented for porn (LMU 06-2)
... is the accordion cool (CAR Talent Show, 05)
... are the three most obvious religious groups atheists, Jews, and Pastafarians.
- ... Slushites if you know Meng. (Siena 07.2)
- ... and Stefanists at Saratoga (SAR.06.2)
- ...and members of the Mortos Cult (CAR.07.2)
... do people spend most of the money they have on energy drinks
... are you campsick 49 weeks out of the year...
... can a tree prepare for the End of the World (LAN 06.2) (SO TRUE! There was a towel in the tree!!)
- ... as of 07.2 that towel is still there.
... does EVERYONE in Ukraine have penis
... can you join 30 students skipping down the street while singing "Build Me Up Buttercup," just like a cheesy 60's movie (CAR.06.1)
... can the game of RISK become a fiery session of plotting and friendship-determining back-stabbing
... do people have outdoor shin-digs or cake fights and birthday humps on their birthday
... do girls dance around their hall with no shirts on having an STD...Spontaneous Techno Dance Party (CAR.06.1)
... can over $1000 dollars worth of alcoholic drinks be found in the ceilings (someone for the love of god, please tell the story behind this, and where said things could/were found)(JHU 06)
... can multiple straight guys sleep in the same bed and not mind
... can sexual references like wet origami be made up
... can even the newbies immediately find the wall of "Adult DVDs" at Record and Tapes (JHU)
... can people shout blasphemies at random people and not get in trouble (LAN 06)
... does your RA tell you that you can't wear science goggles just because you feel like it
... while the nation is in the middle of a same-sex marriage debate, do you celebrate the nation's birthday by cross-dressing
... do you NOT JOKE ABOUT LANYARD SWINGING
- Frank Wang only swung his lanyard once...the world didn't need another Grand Canyon.
  - "When Goofus swings his lanyard, everything dies..." *crash* "...including the stage..." (LAN 07.1)
... can people can juggle three Rubik's Cubes and solve them at the same time (LMU 06-1)
... can you find people with nicknames like "Firefox" (CAR 05.2)
... can you have an emo soda machine (I am broken - inside) (in K-W, CAR 06.2)
... can people worship and equation (EXTENDED EUCLIDEAN ALGORITHM) (Crypto A - Car.07.2)
- ... and devise a mystical creature for it - Extended Euclidean Algorithm Ninja Pirate Farie Pixy!
... can squirrels always be crossing.
... can you trick an entire room of people into listening to you read the ingredients of Pringles (in English and Spanish) by telling them there are Hitchhiker's Guide references hidden inside (LAN 06.2)
... can you find "mandatory fun", "inescapable bliss", and "required jubilee"
... does a Tunak Tunak Tun line go from the academic quad to the residential quad at meet market, make two circles and people still want to dance (Car 06 2.)
... does Jorge yell GO HOME! and students yell back NOBODY LOVES YOU!! without any authoritative punishment. (LMU 06.2)
... do you say "I Fountain East Quad" and have everyone understand you (LMU 06.2)
... can you argue with your friends over who's geekier...and *want* to be the geekier one.
... is the meaning of life a burning cake (Baked Alaska)
... is Duct tape not only a tool but a fashion statement.
... can two girls cause a fire drill for all of KW at 7 am in a desperate attempt to straighten hair (Carlisle 06.2)
... can playing Texas Hold 'Em for two hours in class be considered "learning"
... can a couple of guys come up with a way to toast pop tarts on a household lamp, and break it(RIP-the Toaster^^), releasing possibly deadly gas into the room (Thank god for shea...).
... is the definition of what's really sketchy determined
- ... (rachel, christ, a cow, and a couch!)
... do guys go to class without pants (LMU 2-06)
... can you have everyone singing a song for you in the cafeteria on your birthday (LMU 2-06)
... can two guys stare into a tree and have a dozen people also stare in the tree trying to figure out what's up there (CAR 06.2)(LAN 07.2)
... can someone refer to themselves as "rebellious" because they claim to be 100% heterosexual
... can a bunch of guys put ICYHOT on their balls, and be proud of it (Bethlehem 06.2)
... do people burn ramen noodles (SAR 06.2)
... is mealtime the worst part of the day (LMU)
... can girls have a bigger penis than guys (KNE session 2 '06)!!!!
... can you catch AIRBORNE AIDS (KNE session 2 '06!)
... can you say OHH MY JAAYYYSUS!
... can you do yoga and laugh whenever you want
... can you hang out in the laundry room for hours until Frank kicks you out
... can you find people with the most racisttttt hair
... will people have illegal sleepovers with Asian noodles at 2:00 in the morning
... can you find nerds who are amazing enough to make the rest of the cool world jealous =]
... can you come up with ELWEES! (two crazy nerds, Basement Schneider 20, LAN 06 sess2)
... can card-throwing be considered a talent.
... will 'Joemma' babies be born (Easton 06.2)
... will you find the Swedish-Dutch-Swiss-Kid (Easton 06.2)
... will Hall Meetings and fire drills be called just before Alex gets in the shower and is stuck in a bathrobe for the next fifteen minutes. (Easton '06-s.2)
... can people be found playing chess during a dance.
... can people be found asking each other and memorizing used quiz bowl questions during a dance (LAN 06.1).
... does casual lunchtime conversation involve String Theory, Theodor Hertzl, and sexual morality.
... will boys crowd around three girls because one [Liz Breeze] can build a house of cards (Easton '06-s.2)
... can you be trampled by nerds for reasons not including books [Anna and Liz Breeze slipped on lemonade and fell during American Pie when everyone was jumping in the middle...causing several others to fall on them. It hurt.] (Easton, '06-s.2)
... will you invent something that's already been created and you didn't know it [JELLO SHOTS!] (Easton, '06-s.2)
... can trees play basketball and gerbils be funny. (inside joke SAR 06.2)
... do people make jokes like, "Do you know what they say about grass? It's green." and people will laugh hysterically.
... can you meet the one, and only, FLAVVA FLAAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!!!!!!
- ... Flava Flav! ("Zack", the RA, SAR 06.2)
  - ... http://www.nefferport.com/flavaflav.JPG
... do people memorize pi for fun
- ... and it quickly becomes a competition on who can correctly recite the most
... can there be a hall meeting where the first words are "please stop masturbating in the bathroom"
- ... all because there were too many people brushing their teeth
... will the third floor be terrified because girls with toilet paper around their heads come upstairs and knock on every single door saying "We ran out of toilet paper...no idea why. Can we have yours? Or coffee...coffee is good." -- [Easton, s.2, '06 TPN forever]
- ... http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h313/__rizzy/IMG_2152.jpg
... can you buy fruits, vegetables, cheese named after Australian animals, and yogurt from a man in a do-rag, wifebeater, and gym shorts with a card table and a cooler (CAR 07.1)
... can you sacrifice a potato to a statue of Benjamin Rush(Car 06.1)
- ... and the following year get your class to worship the statue and get a red stuffed dolphin as a class mascot from it(Ethics, Car 07.1)
... can you create a song about wanting to have someone's babies and NOT be thought of as a total creep.
... can you prove that pants are the same as chairs.
... must rules be enforced on studying
... can classical music be "blasted"
- ... and Avril Lavigne
...can the icebreaker "What's your favorite color?" spawn a discussion about light and pigment (in an etymologies class, no less)
... does a TA set up a game of Park Bench on his class' meeting spot (The Bench/ The Etymologies Bench/ The Bench of DOOOM) for his own entertainment (LAN 07.1)
... do people play foursquare while sitting on aluminum chairs
... do other people play foursquare by hitting the ball with sketchbooks or large stuffed grasshoppers... and get to King.
... do people mix together half-eaten tomato soup, smashed jell-o, the remainders of different sports drinks, and whatever other leftovers they feel like (which I suspect included some form of potato) in a glass... and drink it.
- and like it.
... can the elusive Golden/Yellow/Blond-tailed Squirrels be found (Lancaster)
... can Frank Wang be exiled to the Hartman Green and tackled from behind. (LAN 07.2)
... can photo and video recording be banned. (LAN 07.2)
... are people knighted with umbrellas. (LAN 07.2)
... can we steal other people's ramen without them noticing (LOU, 07.1)
... can other people steal our ramen without noticing them
- ... because we were too busy stealing their ramen
- ... and they were too busy stealing our ramen
  - ... so we practically just trade ramen
  - ... and wonder why ours is chicken flavored and why theirs is coincidentally barbeque flavored
... can CTYers learn how to be intelligently lazy. (Physics B! Lan 07.2)
... is necrophilia socially acceptable
- ... and even attractive!
... is rock paper scissors a deadly serious sport that involves mathematical theory and no luck whatsoever
... do you ask male nurses extremely feminine questions
... can you be hysterical in the academic office until 1am (LAN 07.2)
... can you pause in a conversation and hear somebody say "fucking marmosets!" over lunch (LAN 07.2)
... are you considered a priestess for possessing a spork (LAN 07.2)
... do you tally slaps on the ass during BLT
... can you learn how to hand-rave, grind, dance to Cotton-Eye Joe, and kiss all at one dance
... does EVERYBODY have the Schnade (LAN 07.2)
- ... and still makes out at Passionfruit anyway
... are there really long lines for four square after lunch and dinner
... can RAs be found defending pantsless campers to security guards (LAN 07.2)
... can you talk about "intellectual prostitution" in class (JHU 07.2)
... can people be found playing Risk and watching Jaws at the same time (JHU 07.2)
... does spanking a robot help to prove a philosophical point (LAN 07.2)
... is boobtag platonic, but cows aren't (LAN 07.2)
... should you not smoke salmon, because it's a gateway fish (LAN 07.2)
... are bananas the atheist's worst nightmare (LAN 07.2)[this i think applies to most logic classes]
... can people become honorary Jews for eating cinnamon raisin bread at Quad Time (LAN 07.2)
... can two guys sing the Pokemon theme song... and have over 400 other people join in immediately (LAN 07.2)
... is rape not funny (but it is fun) (LAN 07.2)
... is rape not rape as long as you say "Surprise!" first (LAN 07.2)
... can a group of people systematically making out with one another be platonic and normal (LAN 07.2)
- ... well, maybe just normal.
  - ... sort of normal.
... can realizing that Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti Monster may be the same cause a mass epiphany (LAN 07.2)
... can you have a geekgasm over Starcraft II (LAN 07.2)
... can you have the communal ramen, blessed by a high priestess of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (LAN 07.2)
... can getting threatened with hugging cause you to hide under a table... multiple times (LAN 07.2)
... can chicken in a cup break your brain (LAN 06.2)
... can Kosherization be a noun, and fuckupededest be an adjective(LAN 07.2)
... can Frank Wang getting PWNED be grounds for a serious recalculation of one's perceived order of life, the universe, and CTY hierarchy itself (LAN 07.2)
- ... will multiple people (some of whom I know) be astounded/offended that the last bit of the above statement isn't "everything"
... does sanity warrant scrutiny and shunnage
... do people sprinkle salt/pepper in unsuspecting victims' drinks (LMU 07.2)
- ... or food and dessert (which doesn't taste so bad) (SAR 07.2)
- ... and trick people into eating/drinking hot pepper by putting it in their sprite
... do people smuggle garlic bread out the cafeteria by stuffing it down her bra (LMU 07.2)
... do people go to the meds room to steal candy (LMU 07.2)
... can you seriously refer to intellectual prostitution in class (JHU 07.2)
... can you have a classroom conversation about necrophilia (JHU 07.2)
... can you dance the Macarena to "SexyBack" (first dance of LAN.07.2)
- ... and can it actually be sexy.
... is groping one's boobs/waist/inside thighs be utterly platonic (LMU 07.2)
... is there Pikachu porn..[and that's not his tail] (LMU 07.2)
... do a class argue if numbers exist.
... can a Yankee and a Red Sox be friends. (CAR 07.2)
... can Scintilla be everywhere. SCINTILLLLLLAAAAAAAA! (CAR 07.2 [Latin specifically])
... PDA with a boy in a skirt
... can people argue with each other about something they agree on
... can people go to a dance looking like ninjas (JHU 07.2)
... Chinese CTYers sing Korean songs (JHU 07.2)
... do girls attach gum wrappers to everything they can get their hands on
... can you learn the game (I LOSE!)
... can there be Racism that doesn't refer to discrimination, but rather to a religion following a kid named Race. A religion in which all of the followers are called Racists.(LAN.07.2)
... can students and their TA be locked in a garden. (Advanced Chemistry, LAN.07.2)
- ... and some have to climb out the window to save the rest of the class. (Advanced Chemistry, LAN.07.2)
... can you draw a goatee on someone in pen and have them actually encourage it. (JHU.07.1)
... can you sit on a wall and talk about penises, CTYers and rulers. (JHU.07.1)
... can throwing bowls of unopened ramen (and cowtails and tubes of toothpaste) ensue after a discussion about thunder thighs and colossal calves. (JHU.07.1)
... can an entirely new music taste form.
... can an RA be half-worshiped for having asymmetrical hair.
... can you get ice cream three times in a day for it being your birthday.
... can you TP the outside of your RA's room on the last day and have them laugh it off.
... can someone stick a candle in a brownie bite and call it a birthday cake.
... can you FLY!
... can you never entirely rule out the possibility of a velociraptor attack.
... can you be told to keep a low profile, begin to come up with tribal dances, and still be thanked for keeping a low profile.

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